Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's blow job season.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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