I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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