And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My ATM looks so different sober.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize