it's not cheating when I paid for it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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