I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize