Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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