you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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