I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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