Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
