So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
