Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
