I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize
