your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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