i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
