shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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