nut hugger
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
