Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
