everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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