dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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