physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
