im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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