I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
