is your mom at the bar?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
