whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
