What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
