Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize