come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
