i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
