4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I can text with my tongue
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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