I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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