Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize