My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
"it" just moved
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
