haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Terrible idea I love it
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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