Pants 0. Shit 1.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
