Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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