If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
