Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
