where am i from again
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
