Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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