I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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