I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
