Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
