went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize