Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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