You're completely useless in the revolution.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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