they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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