i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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