There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it was like eating out sand paper
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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