i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
