Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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