i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize