Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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