WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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