I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
