all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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