Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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