Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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