You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
