I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
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