...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
