69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
