Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
