He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize