It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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