they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
