I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
