He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
