just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He better not be in your backpack
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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