Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize