guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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