Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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